It's Wednesday. This is the best I could come up with.

Today The Frisky posted three different videos that made me laugh really, really hard. Instead of putting them on Facebook, I'm going to post them here, so that no one will see them and enjoy. Enjoy, No One.

A Shot of Tequila Gets Me Real Hot Part 2

We here at BS Headquarters have made it pretty clear that we are firmly on Team Tila, but lately she hasn't been making it easy. I can deal with maybe-maybe not pregnancy rumors, nervous breakdowns, crazy accusations at her late fiancee's friends... but Tila may be going too far with this one.

Come ON, Tila! Work with us here! We tried, we really tried, to stand by throughout all your craziness. Mostly because the first season of A Shot at Love was so deliciously trashy. We didn't care that you were so obvious about your lack of talent and fame-whore tendencies. In fact, it made you better. And maybe there really was some talent there, because "I Like to Fuck" is a masterpiece. But really, Tila? You're gonna pull this crap on us? It seems lately like you really, really are going insane, and you should probably look into getting professional help. Maybe rehab. I don't know. Maybe this is all a joke to freak people out but I am seriously worried about you after Casey Johnson's death and your non-stop Twittering of incoherent madness and strange naked videos.

We just want you to get better, Tila, because we treasure you. As D likes to say, "If Ima be a ho, Ima be a top dolla ho." And you, Tila Tequila, are a top dolla ho. And for that, we salute you.

[EDIT: Just a few hours after I posted this, The Frisky posted this link http://www.buzzfeed.com/xjoliexgreenx/tila-tequila-gone-from-twitter-lc2 that says Tila has deleted her Twitter. I am taking full credit for it.-- Z]

I'M WARMING UP MY VOCALIZER

If you live in Virginia, or pretty much anywhere else on the East Coast, you are a true hero this weekend. Because we got a shit ton of snow, and it sucks. I've been stuck in my apartment by myself for two days now, and I'm starting to get cabin fever. Because I am a sane person, when I am trapped in my house for two days by myself, instead of trying to be productive, I watch TV all day. Also, as it turns out, I have a DVR! Who knew? Here are the movies I watched yesterday:

The Little Rascals (1994)

MY FAVORITE MOVIE from the time I was like, 5 until I was 10 and I saw Josie and the Pussycats (which was also on TV yesterday, but it was on a channel that I don't get and also I already have the DVD). My grandma has this movie on VHS and I watched it every single time I went to her house. Most of the movies I loved as a kid (The Parent Trap [ALSO on TV yesterday on a channel I don't get], Annie, Josie and the Pussycats) I have watched a million times since then and still enjoy the kitsch of, but I hadn't seen this movie in a very long time, so it was nice to remind myself how much I loved it. Unfortunately, I only saw the end, so I missed Spanky and Alfalfa's ballet performance, which I love. But I did get to see cameos by Whoopi Goldberg, Donald Trump, and Reba McEntire, which I forgot were in there. I got to see Waldo and Darla's duet at the talent show (OH MY GOD I WANTED HER RED DRESS SO BAD), and the go-cart race, and MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL, I saw the part where Porky gives Buckwheat his pickle, and Buckwheat sings "I have two pickles, I have two pickles, I have two pickles, hey hey hey!" which when you are six is THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE WORLD.

Office Space (1999)

A classic. I hold a deep-seated belief that if you really really don't want to do something, you don't have to. A couple years ago my dad tried to convince me that sometimes in life you just have to do things you don't want to know, but I really think that if you feel strongly enough, you can figure out a way to avoid it. If you really don't want to go to a PTA meeting, don't join the PTA. If you feel guilty and join anyway, you obviously didn't care that much about not going. If you don't want to do your taxes, go to jail. Or move to a different country. If you pay them anyway, then it wasn't that important to you.

Because of that, I seriously relate to Ron. Sometimes, I just don't want to do shit. So I don't.

This movie might be the most widely quoted of all time. Or at least of the 2000s. Mainly because of Milton "I Believe You Have My Stapler" Waddams. If you haven't seen this movie yet you are doing yourself a disservice. But you probably already have.

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

When people say that George Clooney is not really a good actor, but just skates along on good looks and charming-ness, I always bring up this movie. Because as often as Intern George plays a version of himself in a movie, this movie is real acting. And it's really good. I've always been interested in Greek mythology and I love modern takes on ancient stories, so this re-imagining of the Odyssey is right up my alley. I think it won a bunch of awards (but I'm not actually going to go look it up), and it was also responsible for a resurgence in country and bluegrass music in the 2000s. That may or may not be a good thing to you, but I was raised on country music, and I think a lot of people don't give it a fair chance because they only know the pop shit they hear on the radio, which I don't like either, so I'm glad this movie got people listening to authentic music again. And, in case you didn't hear it the last time, um... Clooney.

Shallow Hal (2001)

My love for Jack Black is inversely proportionate to my, shall we say, distaste for that condescending bag of bones we call Gwyneth Paltrow. Except apparently good outweighs evil in this case because I love this movie more than I should. Because it's not good. Maybe it's Jason Alexander. Maybe he's what tips the scales (HAHAHA) for me.

Superbad (2007)

CHICKA CHICKA YEAH FAKE ID FAKE ID

Judd Apatow apparently has the exact same sense of humor because I love all of his movies. All of them. I was the only person who watched Freaks and Geeks when it was actually on television originally. I was in second grade. D hates Michael Cera but FUCK YOU D, I LOVE HIM AND I ALWAYS WILL. D also hasn't seen Arrested Development, which I posted about a while ago, so that might be part of it. I seriously don't care if he always plays himself. I like himself. And plenty of actors do it. Don't see this movie if you don't think sex jokes and very, very foul language are funny. I really really do, because at heart I am a thirteen year old boy. Therefore, I love Superbad.

The Wedding Singer (1998)

The only Adam Sandler movie I like. I watch this movie every single time it's on TV. And now I have it on DVR so I can watch Robbie's song about Linda and suicide OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

He's Just Not That Into You (2009)

I hadn't seen this movie before. It was a movie I decided I didn't care enough about to see it in theaters, but I was for sure going to watch it on TV a million times. My favorite story was about Ginnifer Goodwin's Gigi and Justin Long's Alex- it may not have been the most believable or realistic story, but this is a movie, damnit, and that doesn't matter. Plus the title is a message that I think a good portion of the female population seriously needs to figure out ASAP.

Benny and Joon (1993)

When I was in eighth grade the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie came out and EVERYONE was obsessed with Johnny Depp. I was less than enthusiastic, because he is two years older than my parents. However, then I saw Crybaby, and determined that I was just born in the wrong era for loving Johnny Depp. If this Benny and Joon were the movie that had come out when I was thirteen, I would have been in love with him too. I don't care if he's a little crazy, who isn't? I hadn't seen this movie before either but it was adorable. Also I was working on a abstract painting for a homework assignment while I watched it, and feeling pretty uninspired, but the shots of Joon squishing really thick paint around with her hands were exactly what I needed to see.

Bonus Round:

Right now I am watching Independence Day (1996). This is another movie I watch every time it's on TV. I don't care what anyone says, I love Will Smith. Plus his kid in this movie is BUCKWHEAT FROM THE LITTLE RASCALS. WHAT? There were a lot of funny connections like that from watching all those movies in a row. And Jeff Goldblum. Genius. I have always maintained that if I come into any kind of position of power and am required to give a speech, I will reenact word for word the President's speech at the end of this movie where he says, "And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: 'We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!' We're going to live on! We're going to survive! TODAY, WE CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!" I won't take any questions, I won't explain, and I will walk away and let everyone be confused. It will be beautiful.

Plus, I love it when Will Smith punches the alien in the head.

Mariah Carey is AMAZING

Usually I don't follow Mariah Carey or the things she puts out but this video is just beautiful.

I just hope to be this amazing one day.

[EDIT: D is a liar. When "Touch My Body" came out, he literally could not stop singing it for several months. Like, he had Tourette's-like outbursts of this song.

-Z]

New Year. Same Old.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It's 2010. And I haven't posted since my debut post about Tila. What the fuck is wrong with me??

Ehh..... For those people still reading (all one of you), I solemnly makes this promise.

1. I will make a post at least once a week, even if it's about some entirely stupid

2. I will try to make this blog more popular, so people at least want to check this daily.

So there.

Also, right now I'm watching a Degrassi marathon.....

It's totally making MY LIFE right now

Daydreams/Nightmares

D probably won't care about this at all, but I am an art student, damnit, and I'm going to make a post about art. If you only want to know about trashy pop culture, just go back and read the post about Tila Tequila again.

I had to do a project where I came up with my own exhibition for one of my classes, and I really liked the one I came up with, so I'm posting it on the internet. My exhibition was about artists that create narratives around their work, so that each piece has kind of its own little world built around it.

Ross Caudill:

Mario Hugo:

Ashley Lande:

Courtney Brims:

Esra Roise:

There's Always Money in the Banana Stand!

I know I am the last person on the planet to have watched this show, but just in case there's someone on another another planet reading this blog...

OH MY GOD ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER I LOVE IT OH MY GOD.

I feel like I could say a lot about how much I love Michael Cera (and I really, really love Michael Cera... D will disagree with me about this), and how great Portia de Rossi is, and how much I love her and Ellen, and how much I love Ellen, and how funny Jason Bateman is, and how I like him so much more in this show than his douchey dad in Juno, and how much I loved Michael Cera in Juno, and how much I love Michael Cera in everything else he's in, and by the way I really love Michael Cera, and I don't know who Alia Shawkat is but I want her to be in more things so somebody hire her, and Tobias is hilarious, and just every character on this show is perfect, and the script is amazing, and the voice-over narration doesn't even bother me because of how much I love this show, and I watched the first ten episodes on hulu today so I haven't seen that much of it, but it's so good.

But since everyone except me has already seen this show, that's all unnecessary, because you already know.

So instead I'm just going to go watch the rest of the first season now.