A Shot of Tequila Gets Me Real Hot Part 2

We here at BS Headquarters have made it pretty clear that we are firmly on Team Tila, but lately she hasn't been making it easy. I can deal with maybe-maybe not pregnancy rumors, nervous breakdowns, crazy accusations at her late fiancee's friends... but Tila may be going too far with this one.

Come ON, Tila! Work with us here! We tried, we really tried, to stand by throughout all your craziness. Mostly because the first season of A Shot at Love was so deliciously trashy. We didn't care that you were so obvious about your lack of talent and fame-whore tendencies. In fact, it made you better. And maybe there really was some talent there, because "I Like to Fuck" is a masterpiece. But really, Tila? You're gonna pull this crap on us? It seems lately like you really, really are going insane, and you should probably look into getting professional help. Maybe rehab. I don't know. Maybe this is all a joke to freak people out but I am seriously worried about you after Casey Johnson's death and your non-stop Twittering of incoherent madness and strange naked videos.

We just want you to get better, Tila, because we treasure you. As D likes to say, "If Ima be a ho, Ima be a top dolla ho." And you, Tila Tequila, are a top dolla ho. And for that, we salute you.

[EDIT: Just a few hours after I posted this, The Frisky posted this link http://www.buzzfeed.com/xjoliexgreenx/tila-tequila-gone-from-twitter-lc2 that says Tila has deleted her Twitter. I am taking full credit for it.-- Z]

A Shot of Tequila Gets Me Real Hot

I REALLYYY want to hate Tila Tequila.

I try SO hard to. But really, I love her. She is the trashiest thing to ever exist and that's partly as to why I love her. I feel like I could catch herpes just by writing her name on my computer. That's how dirty she is. And she's kind of pretty in a "really nice hotel, like the Four Seasons" kind of way. She looks pretty good on the exterior, but you know that if you turned on a black light, that she would light up like a fluorescent Sun.


It's truly beautiful that in America, you can become famous from posting basically naked pictures of yourself and then getting a million friends on a site designed to make friends. I guess that just means she's super good at her job. I think that deserves some acknowledgement...

Happy Tila? You should be.

The best thing about Tila, however, is her defining characteristic.
Being a bisexual. She likes boys and girls. (But really she probably doesn't. I feel like Tila is one of those bisexual girls that likes girls only to make boys really horny. But maybe, she actually does like girls. She mentions it enough and SEEMS to enjoy boobs and ass.)

But that's ultimately the essence of Tila. A bi whore. Who has a lot of friends.


Oh and she raps.
Her rapping is what helped me refind my love for her.
I remember one day a beautiful, classy song from her and I just had to listen.

And you must too.



Pretty good, right?
I mean that Hot Rod, tries to be nasty, but Tila beats the shit out of him with a wet noodle in terms of vulgarity.

"I like to fuck. Suck cock until I hurl."
Umm...I'm pretty sure that can't be enjoyable at all.
"Squirt like the wipers on my hot car."
Disgusting. Gross. Yet so visual. Brings up a specific vivid image into your head, right?

I also really like this song.



I really like it because she saying that she doesn't fuck other people's men, but from what I hear she does.
Evidence?




Ohh Tila....
Ray J? Honestly? You couldn't have moved a step up to Marlon Wayan?

But really, Tila is the bee knees for me because she can be as trashy as wearing a wedding cake of makeup on her face and getting a Victoria bob and still be amazingly infatuating. There's also her reality show, but that's another post for another time.





Until then, Tila...
You still have a shot at love. Are you interested?

[Z: I know D posted this a million years ago, but I have to add something that I just found:

LOOK HOW CUTE BABY TILA IS!!!

/Z]